Dazephyr

She was listening to her favourite music CD when the phone rang. You’d think it went ‘Kring Kring’ or ‘Troot Troot’, but no, it went ‘只剩下钢琴陪我弹了一天’. So it was awhile before she realised it was her phone and not her player playing the song. Rushing out of her bedroom with player still in hand, she made a dive for the phone and managed to shrug off her earphones in one fluid motion.

“Hello?” She whispered breathlessly.

“Hello. My, do you receive every call this suggestively?” a voice on the other side crackled back at her.

She looked at her receiver incredulously. “And do you talk to every girl this rudely? Who is this anyway?”

“Darling, how can you be so cold to an old friend? Samuel here.” The voice identified itself.

“Oh.” Irritation melted into surprise and delight, as realisation suddenly dawned on her. “OH! It’s you! How are you? I’m so sorry, you sounded so different and I was rushing for the phone and all-”

“Relax! It’s just old Sam here, no need to be so excited you know?” he teased her. “I was dropping by in town for a visit, and I thought I’d call you up for dinner or something. Any plans tonight?”

“Well. It’s a bit sudden; I could be busy with appointments-”

“But you’re not. So I’ll drop by to pick you up at seven this evening?”

“Hey! You are so mean!” she sighed. “Alright. You win. But you were just a lucky guess!” She could already she the smug smile forming on his face.

“I knew it!” he laughed triumphantly. “Lucky’s my middle name! Later then.”

“Wait-”

The other line went ‘click’. She held on to the receiver a while longer, listening to the monotone. Inside her, something ‘clicked’ as she put down the receiver down gently. He had called.

—

She was finishing up the last touches to her makeup when the there was hooting outside. Looking into the mirror, she did a twirl, and decided she looked gorgeous enough. Presently, there was a knock on the door.

“Hello, hello. You look lovely tonight, Denise.” He greeted her as she opened the door.

She threw herself against him. “Hey, Samuel, you look just as fine. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, old girl.” he said, loosening her tight grip over him.

“You better did. Now where’s my roses?” she asked shyly.

“Roses? Er… I thought we were going for dinner, not a date.” He scratched his head in mock surprise.

She gave him a fist-on-hips look.

“Ok. I forgot. If you want I’ll buy you one on the way.” he replied in resignation.

“Much better. I want a whole bouquet.” She allowed herself to smile. “After 6 long years you pay me a visit, it isn’t too much to ask, is it? You owe me!”

“If the lady says so.” He looked at her, a faint smile held on his face. There was a short pause.

“What?” she asked.

“Hmm? No. Nothing. You’ve changed quite a bit you know?” he replied, his gaze still intent on her. “That geeky looking girl has transformed into quite a princess.”

“You flatter me.” She smiled awkwardly. “You, however, have not changed a single bit! Come, let’s go.” She pulled his arm and directed him out and away from her apartment.

—

In the car, they caught up on old times and filled in the blanks. He explained that his job required travelling, so he was often too busy and tired to call back or reply her emails. But he did read them though, that was how he knew where her new place was. She listened quietly as he chatted on about his work and looked out the window.

It was a pretty sight. All the lights were up in the city, in celebration of the Chinese New Year. Lanterns were hung everywhere, and colours of red flooded the shops. People moved about in swarms, some out for dinner, and others simply taking a stroll to enjoy the night lights. She fancied she saw a lion dance somewhere in front a shop, but they passed by too quickly for her to notice much.

As the conversation slowed to a crawl, he put in a CD of Coldplay into the car radio. She was surprised he remembered, but said nothing.

‘Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry; You don’t know how lovely you are; I had to find you; Tell you I need you; Tell you I set you apart;’

The music played, loud and clear, and she listened to the song, hypnotised by the lyrics. She used to like them a lot. Maybe she still did.

‘Running in circles, Chasing tails, And coming back as we are; I’m going back to the start’

The city flew by in a blur, and gradually the lights became dimmer and the crowd thinner. She asked him where they were headed, but he just shook his head with a “You’ll see.”

The rest of the journey was quiet, as the buildings cleared and were replaced by trees. The moon was barely visible, a thin crescent upon the black canvas dotted by twinkling stars. Soon, even the trees cleared, and he pulled up in front of a vast expanse of dark water. She stepped out to the salty smell and sounds of laughter. A little look to the left revealed a group of teenagers, much like her 6 years ago, playing with fireworks.

“Do you like it?” he asked. “I figured a little time away from the city would do us both good.”

“It’s okay.” She replied. She could not say more, as a wave of nostalgia swept over her, threatening to choke the very breath out of her.

He did not notice, or seemed not to. Instead, he took out a picnic basket from the backseat. She saw a bottle peeping out from the basket cloth.

“Trust a man’s cooking? I picked up a thing or two on my travels” his eyes glinted as he smiled mischievously.

“I’m more worried about the bottle of wine, is that what it is?” she said, feigning horror. “You’re not gonna get me drunk and pull a hit-and-run are you?”

“Denise! Both of us are going nowhere tonight!” he laughed.

She looked down and bit her lip. If only she had heard that at another time and place. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself and skipped merrily down to the waterfront. It was brighter than she expected, with the distant city lights illuminating the darkness. Occasionally, firework explosions brought day to night.

He carefully spread a cloth on the sand, and began emptying the picnic basket.

“There. Radio with romantic music, check. Bottle of red wine with two glasses, check. Homemade sandwiches, check.”

“I thought you cooked?” she asked.

“I did. I can only fry an egg. And instant noodles. I didn’t lie when I said a thing or two now, did I? Try my special noodle egg sandwich! It’s excellent!” he offered innocently.

“Ew…” But she took a piece and chewed onto it anyway.

—

She had finished his weird sandwich, which surprisingly, tasted quite good, and they were now sipping wine. The radio sang softly in the background, and she couldn’t really make out what was playing. He placed an arm around her, and she deliberated a moment whether to shrug it off, before relenting and leaning back against his shoulder.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it? How the colours change from blue to green to yellow to orange to red?” he whispered, referring to the spray of fireworks on the dark blue screen.

“They are. What a pity they don’t last though,” like now, she thought to herself. “Sigh. What does?”

“Love,” he replied gently. “Love lasts through all ages and all lifetimes of men, and is immortalised in the world by bringing heaven to earth. With love, all is beautiful, without love, nothing is worth a glance.”

She laughed. “Ever the poet. Love, my friend, dies when you run out of interest in that ‘special’ someone, which, trust me, is only a matter of time.”

“Perhaps, but you don’t have to be that cynical. I have my right to dream of what may be,” his answer was distant, his sight lost in some faraway place.

“Perhaps,” she was contented to leave the argument as it was. It was alright to dream once in awhile after all. She wasn’t sure whether it was the wine, or the music, or simply the serene atmosphere, but she found herself drifting back unwillingly to 6 years ago.

—

He was there holding her against him as they sat watching the sunset. They were talking about their childhood memories, when he broke the news. He had told her he received a scholarship. “My best friend,” he had said, “I am going overseas to complete my education.” He had declared with such pomp and such pride. More importantly, he had said he would return rich, and come back for the girl of his dreams.

It was a childish and naïve thing that every guy said before he left, but it meant something to her. He did not say who, but she knew. It was his girlfriend of 3 months, Rachel. That Rachel girl was also from their class, and she had asked him out one night. They went steady thereafter. She fought back tears, tears falling from what she would be losing, and tears falling from what she had already lost. She had to be strong for him, to support him like she always did.

So she wished him well, and told him nothing of her own plans. She couldn’t stay here where everything reminded her of him. A part of her regretted not saying anything, but another part of her knew it was better for the both of them. They stayed in contact through the occasional call and email, but eventually, he called less and less, and one day the email simply stopped coming. She emailed him still though. She couldn’t help it.

And then today he suddenly popped up out of nowhere.

—

“Hey girl, you falling asleep already?” his gentle question snapped her back to the present.

She could hold back no longer, and flung herself at him, hugging him as tightly as she could. She had kept that cool girl image, that steady friend mask for so long now, and suddenly it just cracked. A well of emotions rushing to the surface.

“I missed you Samuel, I missed you so bad!” she said between sobs. “You never replied a single email, never even bothered to call me!” she banged on him repeatedly.

“Woah,” he was taken aback for a moment, but gradually he wrapped his arms around her. “I missed you too, old pal. You just don’t know how much.”

“Then why did you stay away for so long?” she sniffed, her face still buried in his shoulder.

“I was afraid. I wasn’t sure I was ready to meet you again,” his voice was distant again. “But somehow tonight felt right. I don’t know why.”

He pulled her away from his shoulders and looked at her. And then he bent forward and kissed her. In that instant, the world around her faded in a whirlwind. All the times spent waiting and hoping, all the times spent crying and hiding, it suddenly all seemed worth it for just this one single kiss.

‘手牵手一步两步三步四步望着天，看星星一颗两颗三颗四课连成线，背对背默默许下心愿，看远方的星是否听得见’

She closed her eyes completely as the music in the background slowly enveloped them. Her lips were still pressed tightly against his, and she could taste the sweet wine from his mouth. She was almost lost in a moment when a thought struck her and her eyes snapped open.

“No, this is not right,” she pushed him away and stood up.

“What’s not right?” he asked, surprised.

“You can’t just leave for an eternity and come back like that. You can’t just kiss me and… and… do that to me,” she stuttered.

“Do what to you? I came back for you Denise,” he tried to hold her but she shook him free.

“Do what? Steal my heart from me that’s what. I spent years trying to forget you while you enjoy yourself travelling around without a thought for me. And now you come back and kiss me.”

“No, you got it all wrong-” he started.

“What about Rachel? What about your job? Tomorrow, you’ll be gone again, and I’ll be left with a broken heart.” she was in tears again. “I loved you Samuel. I did. I still do. There, I said it, I finally said it. I love you. Happy? Look at what you’ve done to me.”

“I’m sorry, Denise. But I love you too. Please, stop crying.” he tried to hold her again. She did not resist, but she did not look at him either.

“What do you know about love? What have you suffered for love? Tell me! Samuel! Can you? You know nothing.” her sobs were softer now. “Enough, of this. Send me home now.”

He tried to protest, but she threatened to walk home. He had no choice but to accede to her request. As she stood watching him packing, she couldn’t help but wonder, maybe she should have enjoyed the kiss a little longer, and lingered in her reverie a second more. If he was going to disappear tomorrow anyway, she might as well have taken a sweeter memory to remember. But it was too late for regrets. This door was sealed a long time ago and should have remained shut. If only her resolve had been but harder.

—

In the silent return journey, her thoughts were lost in the past. Images of Denise and Samuel flashed past her eyes. Denise the class monitor covering up for Samuel the rascal. Denise the hardworking doing Samuel the playful’s homework. Denise the best friend giving Samuel the boyfriend last-minute dating advice. Everything was Denise doing something for Samuel.

She tried to recall an instant of Samuel doing something for her, but the only thing that came close was a small thank you letter he had written to her before he left. The silly boy had slipped it into her pocket the day he left. She still kept it tucked neatly in the pages of her diary. A smile crept over her lips despite her tears.

“We’re here.” he said, his voice a little down. “I’m sorry things didn’t turn out the way you’d hope.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, and stepped out of the car.

“I’ll call you,”

“Thank you,” was all she could reply.

He looked at her a while longer, trying to find something to say.

“Right, I’ll be going then.” And he was off.

She felt a twinge of sadness. For one moment she had hoped he would stay, she had hoped that he would hold her and tell her he loved her for real. But it was just a wild hope.

As she watched the car fade into the darkness, she thought she noticed the hint of something red peeking out from the rear screen, but she dismissed it as her imagination.

Wiping away her tears and her ruined mascara, she felt slightly better. Together with the tissue she threw into the dustbin, she had also thrown away her mask of emotions. She had finally told him what she could not back then. Better late than never, she told herself.

It was the New Year. Out with the old and in with the new.

—

She woke up the next morning feeling new and refreshed. The night’s happening seemed all like bad dream. In fact, she was almost sure it had never happened until she noticed she had not changed out of her dress.

Stepping somewhat sleepily into the bathroom, she started washing up. Halfway through, she thought she heard a little music drifting in from outside.

‘才离开没多久就开始 担心今天的你过的好不好，整个画面是你，想你想的睡不着。嘴嘟嘟那可爱的模样 还有在你身上香香的味道，我的快乐是你想你想的都会笑。‘

Curious to know where the sound was coming from, she went into the living room to check her radio. It wasn’t on. The song was coming from outside. Music and words became clearer as she neared the door, and her heart started beating faster.

‘就是开不了口让她知道，我一定会呵护着你也逗你笑，你对我有多重要我都还没让你知道，安静的听你撒娇看你睡着一直到老。’

Her hands were shaking as she unlatched the door, and slowly opened the door. Her heart nearly stopped. There he was, lying asleep against the wall, a basket of deep red roses beside him, and the radio playing. His clothes were unchanged.

‘就是开不了口让她知道，就是那么简单几句我办不到，整颗心悬在半空我只能够远远看着，这些我都做的到但那个人已经不是我。’

She could not stop the tears streaming down her cheeks, the third time since meeting him. She bent gently down and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love you.” she whispered.

His eyelids fluttered open, and his eyes struggled a moment to adjust to the morning light.

“Hey Denise.” he said “I lied when I said I forgot the roses.”

“I figured I couldn’t just leave without letting you know that,” he smiled at her, his eyes looking deep into hers. “I came back for you.”

“Shh…” she hushed him. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

-The End-

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